Dear Diary 6/12/09

Less than a month of ‘holidays’ left. Feeling like crap really. Not really looking forward to camp, not really looking forward to Turkey. Real irritable with the lack of sleep thingy. Caffeine lets me be more awake but definitely isn’t comfort food of any sort.

I really miss them now. More than ever. But there’s nothing much I can do then. With no one to really talk to, is it an opportunity to make new friends? 

A tough one it was a tougher one it’s gonna be. Not even at the start line and fatigue is setting in. Imagine going to camp like that, it’s so gonna drain me even more. 

When life sucks, it’s to make up for all the good times.

Nobody said I deserved it, I just said I was gonna get it!

Truth is, reality is sometimes not quite what we think.

You, you were crap all along. The stupidest stuff all the time, I never figured why but hell, it happened anyway.

Me? I can’t figure what it is that’s gotten me this far, favor just shines. And now, it’s time for a little bit of skill to step in.

Harsh Holiday

Gosh this REALLY doesn’t feel much like a holiday. I’m sleepier than ever, waking up at like 7 each morning and I got a flu to live with. Simply dreadful. I’ve got a load of ‘work’ to complete, and I’m not even sure what it’s doing in my hands. On top of all that, math and english scream out at me each day from that pile of books beside that table. I just hope I keep my temper and not become super irritable or something. Ah, where’d my friends go this time…

Sometimes you just gotta hate memories.

You know what I mean? A random phrase, a random photo, a random song. With such emotion, it sparks the fire. The past is found again, but not in the most pleasant of ways. It’s not like a sit back and tear with joy kinda thing. More like a head in the hands and deep regret. Well, not that it’s always got a particular focal point, but maybe just a general feel. 

Have you ever missed someone even though you see them or talk to them all the time. Have you ever missed someone you hate. Have you? Do you? And if you read this and a person comes to mind, good for you. Cherish friends, love friends, no enemies. 

Have I ever told you I love you so

Gone, like yesterday

It all goes blank, all the time. A car hitting a red light, or perhaps one facing engine failure. 

 

Gimme some time, a day maybe more. I’ll sort it out. It doesn’t look good, but what is there for me to do. A while longer and panic sets in. Despair, such intensity. Have you ever thought the way I do, felt the way I do.

I don’t quite know how to put this.

It’s been fun. I guess rather different. It was all that and more. Nothing of the weird and wacky. 

The thoughts I can’t quite explain. So long it’s been. And yet it has remained, the same as ever. It’s not on the scale of devastating, it’s simply rather alien. If you may, spare me a thought.

Dear Diary, 20/11/09 Hongkong Day 1

My first day in hk The flight here was rahter good, with only minimal turbulence near the start of the flight, smooth flying the rest of the 3 hours or so. Food was fine, but cathay in-flight entertainment left me very disappointed. The earphone plugs were spoilt and the movie got cut off halfway, didn’t get to watch the time traveller’s wife Hk airport is a nice big place, fast and effective and also very crowded. The city generally lives up to expectations and is comparable to singapore on many levels. Buildings are taller and I was suprised by how mountainous the area is and how  many islands there are. Buddy and host are rather anti-social, and there’s the language barrier to be broken. Other students were very welcoming and the Form 1 students waved frantically from their classes whenever we walked past, felt like some celebrity! Oh, the place is very crowded, even worse than singapore. The bus and train system is similar, but the buses are smaller. Flats are smaller too, and the laptop im using is rather tiny. It’s cold here and windy, rather pleasant for me I dare say. Campus TV was a bit of a let down after all that we heard but it  still is high-tech and better than what we have in SG. Still ‘Icy’ with the family, hope that will be overcome soon.

Dearest world, incase this should ever be made known.

You know, it’s really a love-hate thing you and me. You throw your shit at me, and I throw it back right in your face. If you asked me, I’d call that fair. And if you asked me, I call that fair. Sometimes I just wanna crush you, and all that nasty stuff. But I simply can’t. It won’t be right, it won’t do me no good. And you, you’re there for me. Well, there right after you drag me down there with you that is. I guess it was always meant to be this way. But it shan’t stay for long. 

Goodbye world, I love you, I hate you, I can’t decide.

Garh

Stomach. Gas, lots of it. Pain. Help!

Incase you do

Well, that’s life for you, up down left right. You face it. You live with it. You love it.

I never knew that everything was on the line. That a chain reaction has no end. That it all starts and it all ends, with you.